


Have faith in me (when you feel ashamed of yourself)

by Lumeha



Series: Ironstrange Bingo 2019 [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A lie is discovered, Blind Character, Established Relationship, M/M, Magic used for accessibility, Matt is Important so he gets a tag, Mild Hurt/Comfort, and it will be discussed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 12:10:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18660181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumeha/pseuds/Lumeha
Summary: Stephen Strange had not only lost the use of his hands, but also the use of his eyes, during his accident. Not many knew it, as he did his best to hide it, behind magic and behind omissions. But after a nasty fall during a fight, Wong discovered the truth and told it to Tony, who came to the Sanctum to confront his partner.





	Have faith in me (when you feel ashamed of yourself)

**Author's Note:**

> **Ironstrange bingo** : Senses  
>  **Ironstrange prompt 301** : Stephen was also blinded by the accident, and never told Tony, Wong or anyone really, until he almost dies because of it.  
> ( https://ironstrangeprompts.tumblr.com/post/184241002674/prompt-301-stephen-was-also-blinded-by-the )
> 
> In which I reveal that I love another Walking Disaster, aka Matt Murdock

Stephen was having a hard time feeling the flow of energies around him. The battle was frantic, and if he and Wong had more than enough power to contain all the parasitic spirits that were trying their best to nest into the building in construction, they were struggling now that some kind of gang or mafia idiots came because they thought that they were trying to steal their turf. What should have been a simple, clean, easy mission was becoming much more complicated by the second. He had to protect Wong so his friend could finish banishing the parasites.

And he couldn’t get a clean read of the area. He could feel Wong, on his left, doing his best to stitch up the banishment spell. But the parasites were murking up the energies of the human idiots and, as hard as he tried to feel their presence, they felt blurry and glitchy, harder to catch on the periphery of his magical senses. Shadows that changed forms and moved erratically, sometimes disappearing under the explosions that were the parasites.

A strong hit sent him flying through the unfinished wall and in the void below, the Cloak frantically going after him, ignoring the gang member it had been slamming against the floor to protect its master. But even with all its will, it could only slow down the fall, and Stephen slammed into the ground below, pain shooting in his body.

* * *

 

\- Are you. serious.    
\- Tony ?

Stephen felt groggy. He could feel the sheets under his skin and how his body was sinking into the mattress of what he recognized as his bed in the Sanctum. A dull pain was thrumming along his back. The energies around felt fuzzy, blurring what little perception he had of his environment ; he knew he was in the Sanctum, its particular energy all around him, but he couldn’t feel much more. 

Tony must have arrived… not too long ago. Probably. Maybe. He wasn’t sure about it. But there was urgency in his voice, some black and red, anger and and undercurrent of fear, and he could not quite put his thoughts into order. It was not the first time he had gotten hurt during a fight, and this was not his usual tone for that. 

\- Is what Wong sent me right ?

Tony was on his side, and he turned his head toward where his voice came from. He kept his eyes closed, still tired and in pain. But Tony said nothing more. He was waiting for something, an answer or a reaction. And Stephen just felt too tired to think more about it. 

\- … Are you just putting your phone in front of my face ? Stephen asked, his voice struggling against sleep and pain.    
\-  _ Yes _ . So please open your eyes and look at it.    
\- I can’t. 

A long silence followed, with only the sharp breathing of Tony, too loud, the only thing the sorcerer was able to focus on. His hands clutched the sheet, the lightning pain along his fingers and arms bringing him back into his own body and time. 

\- You  _ are _ blind.

There is not question. He wasn’t sure how they learnt. It might have been Wong ? Yes. Yes, Tony said… It had been Wong. Wong who worried and called…. Called Tony. Or texted him. Now the secret was out in the open. A secret that he had hoped to keep and that would probably break them. Because of his own faults. 

\- Since when ?   
\- Since… Since the accident.    
\- You are telling me that, since I have met you, you have been blind this whole time ?

Stephen nodded slowly. He didn’t trust his voice to answer. It had been thick and scratchy, reminding him of the too many times he had been choked and slammed into walls and buildings. 

The scraping noise of wood against wood was followed by rustling of fabric and the sounds of steps, back and forth, back and forth, on the side of the bed, the noise coming and going in waves. Tony needed time to process this information. Process that his partner and lover hid something so important about himself.

A wave of nausea hit Stephen in the throat. 

\- And you told no one because… ?

Fear. Anxiety. Worries about looking like a failure, looking incompetent, like he couldn’t carry his responsibilities. Anger at people acting differently if they knew, with pity, because it was just another way he was broken. He opened his mouth, licked his lips and closed it again. Opened. Closed. Opened. The words were in his mind but he wasn’t able to make them roll off his tongue, stuck in his throat. Tony sighed, something soft and shaky. He knew him better than anyone else, except maybe the Cloak, and Stephen guessed that his tired and worried expressions must have been telling a story clearer than the words he can’t get out. 

He felt the bed move next to him, and a hand came in his hair, gently caressing his head. With a breath of relief, he nuzzled into the warm touch.  His boyfriend scoffed softly, muttering something about dogs and affection, and some hope was blooming in his chest. 

\- Is there anyone who knows?   
\- Christine. The Cloak. The Ancient One knew. Daredevil. 

His voice was scratching along his throat and he suppressed a cough. 

\- … Daredevil. The guy who stays in Hell’s Kitchen.  _ That _ Daredevil, said Tony, between incredulity and a harsh tightness of his tone.   
\- Yes, the Devil himself.    
\- Daredevil was aware you are blind… before me. A random vigilante guy…

The anger was rising again in Tony’s voice and Stephen flinched, aware of how it looked like from the engineer’s perspective. He heard a sharp inspiration and Tony removed his hand, getting back up and resuming his back and forth in the room. 

\- He is blind, too, the sorcerer said, fighting against his own voice.    
\- … What ?   
\- Daredevil. He is blind. 

Stephen wished he could see what expression Tony had at that moment. He never paid attention, before, before his accident and before he lost his sight. He had felt like he didn’t need to pay attention to people’s expressions. Now that he had lost it, he sorely missed it. His sight was another thing he lost because of his arrogance. Another thing he had taken for granted as a surgeon, along with his hands. Another way he had to learn not to be a burden on others.

(but it was not about him, it was not about  _ him _ , and he was not sure how to detangle his actions and his feelings and his eyes and the devouring fear of failures)

\- Daredevil. The guy who, you know, jumps around like the angriest ballerina-cross-ninja in the world ? Actually scratch that you might not know. Or you do because you were able to look like you were able to see. But that guy is…? that’s not the topic, I am getting sidetracked here, but  _ what the hell _ . 

The sheer confusion in the engineer’s tone could have been amusing in other circumstances. 

\- We cross paths sometimes when I am dealing with mystical problems. He helped me with… 

He waved his hand in front of his eyes. He still hadn’t opened them. The energies around him felt less fuzzy, less confusing, and he knew that either the shock of the fall or Wong removed the spell that usually covered his eyes. Eyes that Tony loved commenting on when they were together. Eyes that were lies until now. 

\- The Ancient One and Kamar Taj helped as best as they could and magic is better than anything on the market to help me. But someone with experience could help me even more. He helped me get… more precise, more refined, with how I perceive the world around me. 

Tony sat back on the bed with a sigh.

\- How do you…   
\- See ?    
\- Well. Yes. I have never seen you with a walking cane or anything like that. That and how do you make your eyes look like you see ?   
\- I feel the energies around people, objects, buildings. The Ancient One taught me. The Cloak helps, too. For the eyes, it is a spell. That’s… I think that’s why Wong realized I am blind. The spell isn’t working right now, and if he has checked me for a concussion...

His voice was getting weaker after talking, rough around the edges. He felt more awake and aware of his surroundings, but the pain was still pulsing through his body. The fall probably had been harder than usual. 

A hand gently started to scratch his head again, and the sorcerer let out a small sigh. 

\- Why, Stephen ? Why didn’t you tell me ? Or Wong ?    
\- I am already broken and struggling. I don’t need people to know that I am also blind, he answered in a soft voice. 

Tony scoffed.   
  
\- Weren’t you the one who told me I should not be ashamed of my disabilities ?

A silence was his only answer. He was better at giving advice than following it. Hearing his lover say it plainly was making it easier to realize. He had thought about, maybe, potentially, one day, open up about his eyes. But he always had more urgent matters, more important work (more fears and more self-loathing and guilt).  

\- You are an asshole, Stephen, seriously. You should have told us. 

The engineer’s voice was warm and full of affection despite his words. Tony sighed and kissed the top of his head, before climbing in the bed with him. He wrapped his arm around his shoulder and made him fall against his torso, and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Stephen shivered under the affection.  

\- We are going to talk about it. Later. I am still angry about you hiding something like that. But. We will talk about it. When you are feeling better. 

With a thoughtful noise, Tony added :

\- Expect to have a word with Wong, too. 

Stephen nodded. He was still… so tired. The gentle ministrations from Tony were lulling him to slip back into sleep. The pain was there, old companion, thrumming in his whole body, and his mind was slowly calming down from the rush of worries. 

\- Just one thing. Can I see your eyes ?

A small noise escaped him. But he had to give that to Tony. He raised a hand to rub his eyelids with the palm of his hand, before slowly opening them. 

\- You will have to show them more often to me, now, you know that, Steph ? the engineer said with the soft tone of authority he knew Stephen loved. No more hiding them. They are pretty  _ au naturel _ .

The sorcerer felt himself blink, tilting his head against the pillow in confusion. The reaction made Tony laugh quietly, a few sharp breaths that he usually had when he was trying to not laugh loudly. 

\- Go back to sleep. I am staying here to look over you, Aurora. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please consider Tony Stark and Foggy bonding over their blind reckless self sacrificing boyfriends who deal with way too much weird mystical things  
> (please consider Foggy looking at Tony Stark with just a "... you are -also- a reckless self sacrificing superhero, just not blind")


End file.
